A. We're about helping people become the best they can be. Our goal is to bring from people, the power they have within.

I love my grandchildren. They are the joy of my life. Here's a photo of my granddaughter, Kaja.

    Q. So by the sounds of it, it’s about helping people develop themselves?

    A. Yes. Our students learn to utilize the skills that are already within. They become active listeners. They relate to others. They become authentically genuine.

    Q. What is Active Listening?

    A. It’s understanding first, and making sure that others know they’ve been understood, and not judged. It's accepting, and is a critical tool in preventing conflict and conflict resolution. Human beings flourish when understood. Then they are ready to listen, since they’ve been understand. It’s the heart of effective communication.

    Q. How does Active Listening help?

    A. When the person talking feels that he has been fully understood, it allows him to explore him more deeply. The person feels free and safe. Above all she/he feels surprisingly understood. That's a rarity in our culture.

    Q. So, the person feels fully understood. What does that do for him?

    A. Because the person has been understood and the negative feelings dissipated, she can begin to resolve her own problem. The person has been empowered.

    Q. How does this empowering impact businesses or families?

    A. When people are accepted and understood, they are more effective at making decisions that benefit everyone.

    Q. OK, Jim. What happens next?

    A. Another method that helps folks is the ability to confront difficult situations. This is probably the biggest problem in relationships. I may be bothered about something my co-worker has done, but all I know how to do is attack or appease. There has to be a better way.

    Q. What's the better way?

    A. I’m going to confront that person in a way that produces helpful and motivated change. That almost sounds impossible. It is for most people. Yet, there is a time proven method.

    Q. What's that method, Jim?

    A. It’s a whole new way of dealing with people. It’s about being OPEN, GENUINE, ASSERTIVE, RESPONSIVE, and RESPONSIBLE. It's about being in charge of yourself.

    Q. How does that happen?

    A. It's really simple. It's like becoming a little child. Just tell the truth about yourself. I call this method an I-Message. You communicate to the other person how you FEEL about the PROBLEM you're having because of what he/she has DONE.

My grandchildren - I love them so much. And they help me remember how it feels to be a child. Another precious gift!

    Q. What does that produce?

    A. It allows the other to take full responsibility for her actions. She is not blamed, not judged, not ordered what to do. The person is respected. The person gets to make her choice on how to help.

    Q. Jim, give me an example.

    A. OK. Let's say the other person is smoking in your office and it is causing your eyes to water. Here's your message. "David, I'm very worried right now. My eyes are starting to water and hurt. It's your cigarette smoke."

    Q. I can see how that would be motivating. What seems the hardest for the folks to actually get?

   A. There's no question about it. The major difficulty is handling resistance, hostility, disagreement, and upsetness. This is especially true when you have confronted the other person. They begin to resist.

    Q. Jim, what's the best way to handle that?

   A. It's a surprise answer. "Don't fight 'em!" As the great Steven R. Covey says, "Seek first to UNDERSTAND; and then to be UNDERSTOOD!" That's the method. Instead of arguing and fighting back, you just shift gears into the most critical and valuable of all the communication skills - ACTIVE LISTENING!

    Q. What happens then?

   A. The resistant person begins to feel understood, accepted and not judged. He is able to release all those hostile feelings. Once that happens, he is ready now to understand. It is the most vital skill, LISTENING WHEN THE OTHER DISAGREES!

    Q. I like that. In other words, you reduce or eliminate all the opposition. That should lead to a win-win situation.

   A. That's right. It's the heart of conflict resolution. With effective ACTIVE LISTENING all problems and conflicts can be resolved for everyone's benefit.

    Q. OK. Jim, is there any other skill that can be helpful for motivating others?

   A. That's the million dollar question. If you had a tool that could enhance and motivate others, you'd sell everything you had to get this pearl of wisdom, wouldn't you.

    Q. Yes! What's the answer?

   A. "To motivate others to do their best, CATCH them doing something RIGHT." That is one of Ken Blanchard's most critical "ONE-MINUTE MANAGER'S" SKILLS. What I mean by that is to be observant of what others do. When improvement is shown or help is given, stop for a moment and tell him.

    Q. How do you do that?

   A. First, tell him how you FEEL about what he has DONE, and how his actions have BENEFITED you. For example, "David, thanks for asking me that question. Now I'll be able to explain how to VALIDATE others. I'm excited because I know they'll be able to use this in their work."

    Q. In other words Jim, it sounds like a complete THANK YOU.

   A. That's right. It's acknowledging others' performance. It's just taking a moment to remember. Another example is: Your son has just dumped the trash and taken the container to the curb for pick up. You say to him, "Hey, son, thanks. I'm proud of you for getting all the trash taken care of. Now it'll be picked up and we'll have room for more trash. Plus you helped me get some of my research done by doing the trash for me. Thanks."

    Q. And thank you, Jim. I feel like I've learned a lot during this interview! I hope our interview today, will inspire others to learn more about how your training programs, can help them be the best they can be.